Joseph – The Dad of Jesus. He gets left out of the Christmas story quite a bit as he seems to be there to uproot Mary and get her off to Bethlehem for a tax census and then scoot her out to Egypt, and that’s about it. We know he was an older man with children from a previous marriage (the siblings of Jesus) and that his betrothed was quite a bit younger. We don’t know why the age difference, or how they came together as a couple and then a family, since that is insignificant to the larger Nativity story.

What I like most about Joseph is that he was just a “guy” much like the apostles later on. A carpenter. He worked for a living and was a good Jew. And he ended up in a strange (and dangerous) situation with this single mom, and just her word for it that this was all God’s idea. No angels came and told Joseph what was up until the very eve that his (espoused) wife gave birth!

He adjusted pretty well for an old guy.

The story of Joseph seems more contemporary than the stories around it in the gospels: they lived in a very regimented time with lots of marriage laws and inheritance laws, including the inheritance of one’s bride, in certain situations like the death of a guy’s brother. Yet here, Joseph has choices to make. Marry this young woman (who could well be a harlot, or insane!) and take in this child as his own. Joseph gets to set the example for the rest of us that – even though many laws and regulations might stick us with the people we are kin to, part of our life is also choosing the family around us. Friends, BFFs, Neighbors, FWBs, you name it.

Then it gets more complicated with our Exs, their kids, the kids’-kids, and the kids’ friends we collected along the way as our “mostly-kids.” Old roommates. And about 4 people that you can’t remember exactly how it is you know them, but they’re on the list, anyway.

Our Family.

The Cherry Tree Carol speaks to this guy-ness of Joseph, the Dad of Jesus. I can’t imagine being as patient as he was with the whole situation and I was glad to find this old carol that gives us a glimpse at his human side. The carol goes back probably earlier than 17th Century Europe, and made it over the pond to appear as an Appalachian carol.

In the story, while on their way to Bethlehem, Mary and Joseph pass through an orchard of cherry trees, and Mary says, “Could you reach up and pick me just one cherry from the tree?“

Joseph – with just a little traveling stress going on I’m sure – answers back, “Here’s an idea: why don’t you let the father of that kid in you reach up and pick you a cherry.”

In response, the Child within her calls the tallest tree to bow down, and so she picks her own, saying, “See! I have the power of the trees within me.“

Ouch.

Joseph realizes at once that he was out of line, puts Mary on his knee and says, “What have I done, Lord! Have mercy on me!“

It’s after this point in the story that the angel finally comes to Joseph and tells him that Mary will give birth that very night. The American lyrics also include the date of January 6, which was celebrated as Old Christmas in the mountains, up into the early days of the 20th Century.

In that moment of realization, Joseph goes from being an outsider looking in on the Nativity story, to the real Dad of Christ. He knows the difference between being the boy’s Father, and being his Dad. Joseph is the one who will see him through his early years, hold him proudly during the brit milah, teach him carpentry skills, take him to temple and see that he learns the ways of their people and their beliefs. He will do the things that a Dad does with his boy. No blood-kin necessary.

Joseph the Dad of Jesus taught us that if circumstances arise that we are not surrounded by our related family, we are still embraced and loved by our natural family: the people who are there when we call. The ones who care for and look after us. The ones who need us to care for and look after them. Sometimes it is with God’s guidance that these people fall into our lives, and sometimes it’s happenstance. Whichever the case, they are just as much family to us as cousins and aunts and uncles. And they deserve the same love and reverence as well.

What if your own family has kicked you out?  What if they’ve all died off over the years and it seems that you are the only one left? What if there is an icy cold chasm between you and them and the ice never seems to thaw? Then don’t forget the others around you – the ones who laugh with you and worry with you. The ones who help you in a pinch or understand when you say “I just don’t feel up to it today,” knowing they’ll be back tomorrow or the next.

They’re all “guys” just like you and me. And the more we have in our lives, the more love we get to bounce around.

Keep the faith!

 

The Cherry Tree Carol

sung by Jean Ritchie

 Lyrics (Traditional Mountain Carol)

When Joseph was an old man,
An old man was he,
When he courted Virgin Mary,
The Queen of Galilee,
When he courted Virgin Mary,
The Queen of Galilee,

As Joseph and Mary
Were walking one day,
“Here are apples and cherries,”
O Mary did say….

Then Mary spoke to Joseph,
So meek and so mild,
“Joseph, gather me some cherries
For I am with child….”

Then Joseph flew in anger –
In anger flew he,
“Let the father of the baby
Gather cherries for thee!”

Then Jesus spoke a few words,
A few words spoke he,
“Let my mother have some cherries;
Bow low down, cherry tree!

“Bow down, O cherry tree!
Bow low down to the ground!”
Then Mary gathered cherries
While Joseph stood around….

Then Joseph took Mary
All on his left knee;
Saying: “What have I done? Lord,
Have mercy on me!”

Then Joseph took Mary
All on his right knee,
“Pray tell me, little baby,
When your birthday shall be….

“On the sixth day of January
My birthday shall be,
When the stars and the elements
Shall tremble with glee….

***

As Joseph was a-walking,
He heard an angel sing,
“Tonight shall be the birth-time
Of Christ, our heavenly king….”

“He neither shall be born
In house nor in hall,
Nor in the place of paradise,
But in an ox’s stall….

“He neither shall be clothéd
In purple nor in pall
But in the bare white linen
That useth babies all….

As Joseph was a-walking,
Then did an angel sing,
And Mary’s child at midnight
Was born to be our king….