“I can resist anything but temptation.”
Not every weakness we hit in life is moral or physical weaknesses (I’ve known both.) Spiritual weakness and troubles are high on my list of personal bad times. What can I do if I feel as if I’m in some sort of personal hurricane and everything is blowing all around me; I can’t touch anything for long. Suddenly my mind goes right to where is my faith? Where is the stuff “I used to believe.” My thoughts go to
Have I lost my faith? Did I really ever have any faith? Is this all foolishness?
I don’t know. Maybe you don’t know either. When this happens to me, I always wonder if there isn’t some sort of faithfulness – even as muted as it is – in saying, “I have lost my faith.”
If it were truly lost, I would expect I’d start calling BS on some (if not all) of the major ideas of my own particular religious/spiritual practice and beliefs.
“I have lost my faith” sounds to more more like a soupçon of hope. I have lost something, and I’m thinking that maybe – with a bit of searching around – I might find it again.
Or at least some part of it.
Some days we get too tired to have to deal with all that stuff. We are in bad situations and it seems as if no Great and loving God would have left us in such disarray. Some days, for some folks, “losing faith” is more about getting mad at God, and instead of sticking around and fighting it out, we give up and announce that we have lost.
Maybe, just maybe, in whatever spiritual orbit you fly, the trick is to think of this spiritual life as a river, with wild rapids and white water, and slow meandering streams shaded by trees – so very easy and beautiful. And sometimes it’s a wide and deep lagoon, and we’re stuck in the middle of it, far away from the shore, and no way to move the boat in any reasonable direction.
The trick, I’ve learned, is to stay in the boat.
As always, Keep the Faith!, and keep in mind that your spirituality (whatever flavor) is about relationships. It’s about how you are in communion with your universe. Since the Universe is all around us, it cannot be lost.
God of Peace,
You are familiar with
our troubles and our weaknesses.
And yet – at the very bottom of our soul –
you have placed your Holy Spirit.
That spirit does not accuse,
but consoles us.
And upholds our will
so that we may live
by your love.